- Cough. A lot.
- Sneeze. Do not cover your mouth.
- Wear perfume, lots of it, all over your body.
- Don’t notice when your laptop bag smacks into the faces of everyone you pass when walking down the aisle to find your seat.
- Load your roller board suitcase lengthwise in the overhead compartment.
- Load your suitcase into the first overhead compartment you can find when you’re sitting in the back of the plane.
- Accidentally let your suitcase fall from the overhead compartment.
- Store your carry-on bags under your neighbor’s seat. Do not move them.
- When assigned the middle seat, take the aisle seat and refuse to move. It’s a good idea to make up an excuse about altitude sickness or something. They won’t argue.
- Sit in the window seat and get up to use the lavatory every hour.
- Say, “Hi,” to your neighbor and tell them why you’re traveling; don’t stop.
- Yell, loudly, when you talk to the flight attendant.
- Fall asleep and snuggle with your neighbor, a complete stranger.
- Call the flight attendant a stewardess.
- Don’t wipe the sink in the lavatory clean as a courtesy to your fellow passenger.
What are your additions to the list?