I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and made it to the nice list

Much love,
Laura, John, and Strong Santa

Original artwork illustrated by John Kimball

Two years ago in June, I walked into a CrossFit gym and started a workout with barely enough strength to lift the bar. This was embarrassing. I was not a newbie at all, but a nine-month veteran just home from three weeks away from the gym due to business travel. I was very familiar with the fact that I would not be as strong as when I left, but I wasn’t lifting any weight at all, I was just trying to lift the goddamn 35-pound bar.

Something was wrong. Something in my life beyond the gym was affecting my workout. And something needed to change.

That time I quit CrossFit

That summer my life was a mess – I was working for a manager who said I needed to do some “soul searching” to see if the job that I was doing was what I wanted to do, my husband and I were buying our first house, and I was discovering what it meant to be an “adult.”

They say that one of the main reasons why people work out is to relieve stress. But CrossFit is different; it requires concentration of your mind, body, and soul to push your body to do things that you never imagined it could. And as a friend put it, at CrossFit, you are very vulnerable. And those three things consumed all of my thoughts to the point that I could not put them aside so I could use my brain to focus on the work out at hand.

It was scary. And if you aren’t on solid ground mentally, emotionally, or physically, it makes it even worse.

And it can turn something you love into something that isn’t worth it anymore.

So I quit. I decided that I needed time away from this thing that I was growing to love. This activity that was the first and only form of working out that I ever “got.” This hobby that showed me I have damn good form and kick ass at lifting. This sport that was causing more stress that it was relieving.

The difference between quitting and failure

It’s okay to say enough is enough and put a stop to what’s not working. For me, quitting CrossFit allowed me to take one responsibility off the table so I could spend my energy on working through some really big milestones in my life. It allowed me to preserve the sanctity of CrossFit so that it would still be fresh when, or if, I decided to return.

The idea of quitting is romantic. It’s an action that many of us would like to do, but rarely act upon. And I’m not talking give-the-man-the-finger type of quitting; I’m talking about the “it’s not good for me anymore” type of quitting. The kind that slips out of your mouth over wine with a friend when you tell her about the job that you’re not into anymore or the man you’re seeing who doesn’t fulfill your life the way he used to; the kind that she’ll encourage you to get over and promise that that feeling will come back and that you’ll come out stronger than when you started.

Or, if she’s a good friend, she will tell you to listen to that feeling and just fucking do it.

I like how John Falchetto says it, quitting is a choice:

I chose to quit when there is no progress. When no matter the effort I am exerting, in whichever direction I am pushing no progress is made whatsoever. Sometimes it is easier to walk around the wall than try to push through it.

Quitting is not the same thing as failure. Failure is the act of something not working in the way that you intended it to work. Failure is an outcome, quitting is a choice. Failure is something that happens to you (or something you direct), quitting is you putting a screeching halt to something. And sometimes to prevent being run over by the train, you have to change the tracks and put up the stop sign.

And it’s okay.

Whether it’s a hobby, how you workout, your job, your lover, and even your best friend – quitting, when you know why you’re doing it, is okay.

Learning from the past

Technically this isn’t a story about quitting; it’s a story about hitting pause. Four months after I quit CrossFit, I found my way back. I resolved two of the three issues that got in my way during the summer and found a new gym. This new gym invited me to join their community and I fell back in love with CrossFit.

It wasn’t the same kind of love. This time, I know that I will have an “off” night and that things will happen at work and at home that will affect how I perform at the gym. There are nights when I will fight back tears because emotionally, I can’t find the strength to start or even finish a work out, but I will find the strength to show up. And that’s okay.

This time, the relationship is different because I am approaching it differently.

What have you quit? What did it teach you?

Photo credit: Jen Collins (hellojenuine)

In CrossFit, the workout-of-the-day (WOD) is generally named after a person. They can be named after girls, heroes, and other guys in between. Sadly, the hero workouts are named after CrossFitters who serve in the military or armed forces and died in the line of duty. I haven’t found how the girls earn a WOD named after them (or which real-life ladies inspire the said workouts), but it’s my goal to someday have a WOD named “Laura.”

Anyway, if I am the hero of my CrossFit destiny, pushing myself against me and laying down personal records day in and day out, then I can’t be a true superhero without an archenemy. And mine goes by the name of Angie.

Angie is a body-weight workout and the worst 20 to 30 minutes of your life (or 10 minutes, if you’re that good).

ANGIE

100 pull-ups
100 push-ups
100 sit-ups
100 air squats

For time.

CrossFit Evolution – Angie from Lori Schwartzberg on Vimeo.

My history with Angie

Angie and I have played together three times over the past year, which is a lot since CrossFit programming is constantly varied.

To set the context, April’s Angie was during the 40 WOD Challenge when I was going to CrossFit 3-days in a row, 1-day rest, 3-days on, 1-day rest, etc. I was at the height of my physical fitness for the year and was kicking some major muscle. In July, I just started a new job and was barely going twice a week. The thing that really pissed me off was I was busting out some killer pull-ups and rock-solid sit-ups. The push-ups, well, were a struggle. But two minutes slower?

24 hours later when I was at an event, trying to turn keeping my palms turned towards the ground so others wouldn’t see the torn flesh, my throbbing shoulders, and how I could only lift my arms so high from the sides of my body into a joke.

But when I bragged to a friend how elite my hurt was, he pointed to my right arm, “Is it supposed to be bigger than the other one?”

My arm had ballooned like Popeye, and not from pulsing muscles.

Fast forward through an ultrasound, perplexed MDs, and a few exams from coaches, chiropractors, and physical therapists, the census was somewhere between pull-up number 40 and 100 I pulled my body down hard on the bar and jerked my elbow, jarring the joint and tearing the tendons. Enter a influx of lymphatic fluid and one exorbitantly inflated arm, wrist to shoulder and neck. And one super sexy, healing CrossFitter.

When you tear a tendon, it’s like a string and doesn’t bounce back. Some said it takes 3 to 4 months to heal, others said a year and a half. Either way, it’s up to me to regulate my body and make sure I don’t overextend it.

The only way to know the limits of your body is to cross it

For the most part I’m okay – I wear a brace, limit what I lift overhead, and have a serious physiological fear of the pull-up bar. Oh yeah, and today when my CrossFit friend told me that Angie is due again this Friday, I became nauseous and almost felt like throwing up (and it wasn’t because of the WOD either!)

When I tried to whine to my coach about Angie and pointed to my bum elbow, he just said, “So what, do jumping pull-ups.”

So here’s the question, do I face my nemesis on Friday, give Angie the finger, and lay down one damn phenomenal personal record? Or do I conveniently plan a social engagement, run, hide, and become too busy for the gym? (By the way, What are you doing Friday night?)

As my torn tendons quiver in fear, I’m still trying to hold my dinner down.

If given the choice, how would you face something you fear?

Photo Credit: J. Star

Occasionally I post pictures on Twitter, Facebook, and even this blog of myself doing handstands. There are some friends and followers will consistently “like” those photos and drop comments of excitement and delight. Then there are other friends who will wait until we’re face-to-face and ask, “Why is your profile picture upside down?” Or even more direct—“What’s up with those handstands?”

What’s up with those handstands?

Handstands are the unofficial sign of a CrossFitter. To quote Greg Glassman, the father of CrossFit, “Handstands, hand walking, and pressing to the handstand are critical exercises to developing your athletic potential and essential components to becoming ‘CrossFit.’”

Handstands work your balance, strength, and flexibility, three important elements that are “CrossFit.” They’re something that we can do outside of the gym, on a whim, and without any equipment. In the woods? At a national landmark? In your mother’s backyard—do a handstand; have someone take a picture of it and share it with your friends online for all to see and comment on.

It’s kind of like a gang sign as it shows your affiliation to a very specific group of people.  If you search on Google, bing, or Flickr for “CrossFit handstand,” the SERP will turn up a number of photos of people inside a gym and at the most awesome places around the world. These are CrossFitters in their natural habitats, doing their thing.

Why do I handstand?

Because I can (sort of, I still have to kick up and lean against something). And because I associate myself as a CrossFitter.

To date, I have captured five handstands on digital film to commemorate specific moments in time:

1. Against the safety rail at Wallace Falls outside of Gold Bar, Washington; April 2010 (not the most photogenic handstand).
2. Against the race car at the 24 Hours of LeMons race at Thunderhill Raceway outside of Willows, California; May 2010.
3. The first-ever handstand against a 2011 Mazda2 during the Mazda2 Lifestyle Drive in Montreal, Quebec, Canada; June 2010 (photo above).
4. Inside Local’s Gym to celebrate my friend Kevin’s birthday, Lynnwood, Washington; August 2010 (photo below).
5. Against the “big books” in the atrium at the enterance to Wordstock Book Festival at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland Oregon; October 2010.

As you can see, I get around. And I plan to keep doing so, one handstand at a time.

Being upside down exposes the athlete to, what is for many, a brand new world. – Greg Glassman

When people ask me what CrossFit is, I have a hard time explaining it because by definition, it is “broad, general, and inclusive.” CrossFit specializes by not specializing. It’s one of those things that you need to experience in order to understand.

This is one of the gentlest videos I’ve watched about CrossFit, but the message is compelling all the same. There is no blood, sweat, or tears in this video, but it gives me chills all the same. And it shows the one thing that keeps me going back to my gym.

My Gym from Patrick Cummings on Vimeo.

Community

Community is a word that we throw around haphazardly. Sometimes it’s an adjective, a verb, a noun; other times it’s a goal, an objective, an obstacle. But rarely do we use it to mean the definition we learned in fourth grade: a group of people living in a particular local area having common interests.

At My Gym

At my gym, when they don’t show up, I call them.
At my gym, when I don’t show up, they call me.
My gym is different than other gyms. And I am different because of my gym.

At my gym, we celebrate birthdays by doing handstands.
At my gym, the mayor makes me my own jump rope.

At my gym, we scream when we accomplish personal records.
At my gym, we write those records on the wall.

My gym is Lynnwood CrossFit, and I am better because of my gym.

They say it takes 30 days to form a habit and 90 days to change your life, especially when it comes to health and wellness.

Eleven weeks ago I started a new habit of going to CrossFit 3-days-on, 1-day rest, which meant I was working out 5-to-6 times a week, showing up to the evening classes during the week, and somehow making it to the 8am classes on Saturday and Sunday. My non-gym social life was on probation, but my gym life had never been better.

Learning how to do a handstand in a skirt, however, is extra. (Struting my stuff at “Goin’ for Broken” 24 Hours of LeMons at Thunderhill Raceway in California)

Last weekend was the CrossFit Regional Competition, which was the reason for the crazy workout in the first place. I didn’t make the affiliate team for my gym, but here’s what I got out of the competition:

How to establish a goal, and meet it

A year ago I met a woman who competed in a weightlifting competition in Canada, which technically made her an international competitor. This woman was probably twenty years older than me and did not have the body of a stereotypical athlete by any means. But she was strong and humble about her accomplishment. I don’t know if she placed, ranked, or even finished, but she showed up and competed (in spandex nonetheless). At that moment, I had a fleeting thought―I, too, want to be a weightlifting competitor. I race cars, so why not add this to the list?

Granted this was an in-gym competition, but it was a competition all the same. So I think I’ll check that one off my list.

How to become part of a community

From showing up at Local’s under this schedule I became a regular. I received Facebook and text messages whenever I missed a class. We would encourage each other to lift more and work harder. We pushed each other when running 800 meters, 5 rounds, with a 1 minute rest in between because we all hated running but needed to finish the workout and record our times. We became social and went on a hike in the woods after a squat-intensive workout. We started a new tradition of doing handstands whenever, wherever, just because we can.

There’s a lot of love at my gym and I swear it has to do with the kind of bonding that happens during a CrossFit workout. And this love was shown last week during my birthday when I had 3 birthday workouts spread across the entire week. Nothing says “Happy Birthday” like letting the birthday girl choose the workout.

Strength & permission to love your body, a lot

Working out 5-to-6 days a week is grueling only after the first week. The trainers did a great job programming WODs that would work different muscle groups. After week two, I woke up for the 8am Sunday class, stretching and feeling how strong my back was. I could feel the muscles in my body and it was incredible.

I have come to love my body for what it is―something I have worked hard to craft and create. Since I started going to CrossFit, I have gained 10 pounds and dropped a pant size. For the first time in my life my waist has decreased in size. I have amazing shoulders and trapezius muscles that beg for razorback tank tops. My thighs have turned into triangles and I have a six-pack that is starting to peek out from behind my tummy.

And the best part is I have tickets to my own private gun show and tend to flash them when we go out. Just ask to see them, and I’ll show you.

That there’s always room for improvement

I have come a long way in my training, but I’m only 70ish days in. Now that the competition is over I need to maintain this momentum, continue going to the gym on a regular basis, and figure out which side of the Zone/Paleo diet I need to jump on.

I had no illusions that I would make the team―heck, I’m still working on unassisted pullups―but I wanted to do this competition to give myself commitment and results, and that’s exactly what I accomplished.

But I didn’t do it alone, it was my friends Kari, Kevin, and Ed who made sure we all showed up. And Jesse, Abi, and Diedra who kicked our asses in gear and kept things easy (even under the premise of “easy days”).

I want to thank, Kari, especially, for helping me push the “go” button. She planted the idea of jumping into the 40 WOD Challenge as an idea without any peer pressure involved, and that’s exactly what I needed. She helped keep me accountable and our similar strength encouraged healthy competition.

Thank you, Kari, for making sure that I showed up and followed through.

Photo Credit: Doug Chase

If you were to find 13-year-old-me and tell me that as an adult, I’d be training to become an elite athlete, I would not believe you.

If you were to find me six months ago and say the same thing, I wouldn’t believe you either.

But I am.

At the end of February I volunteered at the 2010 Washington Sectionals for the CrossFit Games. Spending the weekend watching elite athletes in action changed my entire outlook on CrossFit.

This is what I saw:

2010 Washington State CrossFit Sectionals from Jeremy Grubaugh on Vimeo.

Claim to fame: yours truly makes a split-second appearance 16 seconds into the video.

The 40 WOD Challenge

Last week, the fearless leader announced a spicy new experiment: the “40 WOD Challenge.” (For those who don’t speak “CrossFit,” WOD means workout of the day.) Over the course of eight weeks, each workout will be scored how much we lift and how long it takes to complete the workout. Scoring is based on a reverse curve and the goal is to get the lowest score overall.

At the end of eight weeks, the six people with the best scores (at least 2 men and at least two women) will create the affiliate team representing Lynnwood CrossFit at the regional games in May. Pretty exciting.

What are the CrossFit Games?

The CrossFit Games are the ultimate test of fitness. It’s a grueling two-day competition in which the world’s fittest athletes compete in a variety of workouts. What are the workouts? Each year they change, and the details of them are not announced until a couple days before the event. This means that all year long, the athletes are training for a competition whose format is almost completely a mystery.

The Backstory

I have been going to CrossFit off-and-on since Fall 2008. Though, in May I took six months off when I couldn’t focus on the workout due to real-life stress. In November I came back to CrossFit and started working out 2-to-3 times a week. If we start the clock then, I’ve been CrossFitting “hardcore” for four months now, and it’s time to step it up. My body and core strength have changed dramatically in the past few months, but there’s still a ton of room for improvement. And I want to improve.

There are a ton of amazing, strong women at my gym who are way more athletic than I am. I highly doubt that I’ll make the affiliate team, but I’m going to try.

The Escalation

When I was 13-years-old I tried out for the volleyball team. I didn’t make it. I didn’t even get chosen to be the manager.

The next year I joined the swim team. It was a no-cut sport. I was one of the slowest swimmers but had a rockin’ freestyle. I quit after that year because the idea of trying to figure out the butterfly overwhelmed me.

I was never into PE or sports as a kid (just ask my husband about my hand/eye coordination…or lack of). But after finding CrossFit and after climbing that damn rope–wanting to climb the rope–I dig lifting. A lot.

The Goal

Part of the challenge entails working out 3-days-on/1-day off. Repeat.

• I want to be strong. Really strong.
• I want to be an athlete because that’s the last thing I ever thought I would be.
• I want to surprise myself.
• I want to do this for myself.

And if not now, when? I don’t want to leave this until “someday,” I want that “someday” to be today.

Why not.