on life, ambitions, and dreams


Posts Tagged ‘rules’

Sunday Serial: Passing Judgment on Mojitos and Negative Thinking

Sunday Serial is curated list of the best blogs and articles that I’ve encountered over the past week. Sometimes there’s a theme, but most times there’s not. My goal with these posts is that I introduce you to at least one new idea that you may not have otherwise been exposed to. Enjoy!

Illustration of Ernest Hemingway and his favorite drink, the mojito

10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You

by Marc on Marc and Angel Hack Life

Read this because: The hardest thing in life is to ignore what others think about you and do everything that you want to do. But you know what? It’s OK to ignore what others think about the choices you make (and it’s sometimes fun). Marc gives you a healthy list of 10 things. Here’s a challenge: choose one item from this list and try it out for thirty days. Here’s mine:

5. Adjust your goals and dreams as life changes. – A great deal of pain in life comes from having a specific dream that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out exactly as planned, you become angry that you now have to pursue a different path.  If you want to tame your inner demons and make the most of life, you must not become rigidly attached to just one specific dream, and remain open to there being an even better, equally as happy path ahead.  Life is unpredictable, but it provides plenty of opportunities to make dreams come true.  Just don’t forget that sometimes taking a positive step forward requires you to slightly adjust your dreams, or plan new ones – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.

Editors note: I originally chose #10 but changed after re-reading the Power of Negative Thinking (below).

The Bartending Stand Against the Mojito

by Jen Doll on The Atlantic Wire

Read this because: There’s nothing that makes you feel like a literary legend like Ernest Hemingway and refreshed like a sprig of the freshest mint crushed into your rum. Plus, it’s incredible fun to shout loudly in a bar with your best friend from high school (“Mo-heee!-to!”).

But did you know that bartenders everywhere have a vast hatred against this drink? According to the Atlantic Wire, it’s true. And while reading this article makes me want to weep, after hosting a party where the signature drink was hand-shaken (not stirred) mojitos, I can solemnly agree. The mojito, as wonderful and amazing of a drink that it is, is an outcast.

If you are lucky enough to be at a bar where mojitos are on the menu and made for you with pride, enjoy it, for your fellow countrymen may not be as lucky.

The Power of Negative Thinking

by Oliver Burkeman in the New York Times

Read this because: The very concept is baffling. If you want something, shouldn’t you exercise positive visualization? Yes, except that in some situations, visualizing that you achieve a goal may make you feel as though you’ve already achieved it and therefore will be less likely to actually do it.

Is your brain spinning yet? Here’s where the research comes from:

Ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers understood the need to balance the positive with the negative, optimism with pessimism, a striving for success and security with an openness to failure and uncertainty. The Stoics recommended “the premeditation of evils,” or deliberately visualizing the worst-case scenario. This tends to reduce anxiety about the future: when you soberly picture how badly things could go in reality, you usually conclude that you could cope. Besides, they noted, imagining that you might lose the relationships and possessions you currently enjoy increases your gratitude for having them now. Positive thinking, by contrast, always leans into the future, ignoring present pleasures.

If you want something really, really badly, think about the exact opposite and then work hard towards doing everything you can to not make it happen.

This concept sounds really, really weird to me. I mean, that’s like saying if you’re riding a bicycle and you don’t want to think about hitting the tree, think about hitting the tree. Perhaps that’s not the time to think negatively…

But when it comes to something like your relationship, thinking that you and your partner are amazing, strong, and solid may lead you to stop working on it and cause you to miss something huge that could bring about it’s demise. Whereas if you are think about your relationship falling apart (and that’s not what you want), then you will work hard to make sure that it does not.

Okay, I think I understand it now.

What did you read this week?

Illustration via felipson

Sunday Serial: Rules for Teenagers, Entrepreneurs & Goal Setters

247-365 SUNDAY PAPERS by pepsix

When I was seven years old my bedtime was 8pm. A time that is tolerable during the winter but excruciating in the spring after daylight savings time.

On Easter that year as I was getting ready to go to bed, I peaked out of my bedroom window and saw the neighbor kid across the street in her front yard hunting Easter eggs. And the worst part – she was two years younger than me! Talk about not fair!

It’s around that time in life that many kids learn how to say, “You’re not the boss of me” and ache for a day when we will be able to make our own rules about our own life.

Well, judging by the popularity of content on the Internet, general professional knowledge – generally people become overwhelmed when presented with too many choices.

Why? For a number of reasons that all boil down to being afraid about making the wrong decision and missing an opportunity. Often times it’s called the paradox of choice.

That’s right, fear.

Don’t worry; I’m in this boat too. It’s why I ask my husband if I should do something instead of the other so that if I make the wrong decision, I have him to blame (his words, not mine).

So, this week, here is a collection of articles with advice on things that you should do, things you shouldn’t do, and one more to make life a little easier.

Things You Should Do

Ten Things I Want To Tell Teenage Girls by Kate Conner on Lily Pads

Read this because: You were a teenager once, know someone who is a teenager, or who will be one soon.

You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.

Six Attributes of Successful Entrepreneurs by Jay Goltz on The New York Times

Read this because: You’re like me and have big plans to be a founding entrepreneur some day. But you’re scared (see above) that you don’t have the character profile or, hell, the DNA to be one. But all soft skills can be honed and the way you look at the world can be finessed. View this list as six things to work on while you wait for that some day to arrive.

10 Rules for Brilliant Women by Tara Sophia Mohr on We Unite

Read this because: You don’t know who Tara Sophia Mohr is and have never read her “10 Rules” before.

I first read Tara’s 10 Rules shortly after it was first published on the Huffington Post. After that, I got to know her through The Girl Effect Blogging Campaign and had the pleasure of attending one of her salons last spring when she was in Seattle. Tara is a writer who is dedicated to coaching women leaders on how to sit at the table, speak up, take bold actions in the world.

Bonus reading material: Here’s the post I wrote as part of the Girl Effect Blogging Campaign this past year: Change the Statistics.

A little bit is a lot. By Sarah K. Peck on It Starts With

Read this because: We all procrastinate a lot. We turn small tasks into daunting affairs that paralyze us and if we just change our perspective, we can get it down. Sarah K. Peck does an amazing job of illustrating exactly what procrastination looks like, and how to overcome it in a way that’s not so scary anymore.

How to Influence People: The Most Overlooked Secret by Cody Goins on Goins, Writer

Read this because: I love it when bloggers of all shapes and sizes share their “little known” secrets, and this is one that could change how you approach life.

Things You Should Not Do

3 Words That Guarantee Failure by Geoffrey James on

Read this because: You love brainstorming big ideas and setting goals, and what’s better is you’re into meeting them. But there’s one thing you can say after setting a goal that will determine if you will succeed or not – three words that you might say that will subconsciously put you on the path towards failure.

For the record: You can say those three words when it comes to something like eating food or learning a new skill.

The 5 Silent Career Killers For Women by Lauren Carlson on Women 2.0

Read this because: Whether you’re a man or a woman, there are things that you might be doing to sabotage your career. (Confession: I do 4 out of 5 of the things on this list on a daily basis, in my career and otherwise). Check out this list and start altering your behavior now. Carlson goes into more detail about each “silent killer” on her own site and in this blog post.

15 Grammar Goofs That Make You Look Silly by Brian Clark on Copyblogger

Read this because: If you can’t write or talk good, than you just look silly. And that will do more damage to you then anything written above.

Now View The World Through the Eyes of Calvin and Hobbes

Kung Fu Calvin, fan art by John KimballSixteen Things Calvin and Hobbes Said Better Than Anyone Else by Edd McCracken on Book Riot

Read this because: I’ve given you a lot to think about. And when the world is overwhelming and you need to take a break on self-actualization, go back to the basics and learn how Calvin and Hobbes made sense of the world better than anyone else could.

What did you read this week?

Photo Credit: Pepsix
Kung Fu Calvin fan art illustrated by John Kimball