Sundays are days of rest. Days when we sleep in, giggle each other awake, and crawl to get pancakes and do things regular people do, like go grocery shopping, do laundry, and clean.
As we waved to our neighbor this afternoon while carrying 80 pounds of cat litter into the house, he asked if the race season was over. The race season is something that devours the majority of our weekends and “spare” time. My husband shouted, “Yep, now we have more time to take care of the house!” Our neighbor laughed. God, I’m sure he hates the fact that our yard looks like Jurassic Park. And when he walks his dog, he cautiously looks over our fence, scouting for Velociraptors.
Today we were domestic, and it felt good. We even hosted a group of friends and played board games over lasagna and wine. These are friends who have known my husband for our entire life together, and they all have or are having babies.
Lately, when someone I know learns that I have a husband, it surprises them. I’m not sure why as I have some very sparkly diamonds that I wear on a very specific finger and don’t hide. After their shock wanes, their next question is, “Do you have—” or “When are you having kids?” It’s as though by telling them that I am legally attached to a man means that the next logical step is to take over the world, one teeny-tiny baby at a time. Otherwise what’s the point of getting married in the first place, right?
This opens a can of worms and sparks internal dialogue. What I really want to ask them, but never do, is “Why do you want to know?”
There are a few reasons why they’ve jumped to ask me this question:
- They are curious about my life and genuinely care about me
- They only believe people are married to have kids
- They think married people who don’t have kids are weird and hate kids
- They think married people are weird, period.
Thinking more about the situation, this question is generally asked when I’m in the “getting to know you phase” with someone. Therefore, people who fall into the #1 category will generally not ask this question because they care and they know that the question of to procreate or not procreate (not practice, mind you) is a personal question, because it is.
The reason why a person asks this question tells more about the place that person is in their life and what their own views are, than it does about me.
Photo Credit: Krug6